iPad failure

Perhaps I am a complete failure as far as using the iPad goes. I use it frequently. I like using it. My favorite are the recipe apps. But I don't feel like I've integrated it as oompletely as I should. I don't use it for taking notes, I don't depend on it for any class whatsoever. I use it for fun. It is useful in classes where I need internet access but don't want to bring my bulk laptop to class. Other than that, I don't use it for academic purposes.

While I have taken notes on and uses my iPad in class for every Digital Human class, I don't feel like it has changed my class performance. If anything, it has become a test of my attentive abilities. Whether or not I can stay on topic with everything entertaining at my fingertips has become a trial for me. The iPad, for me, is a distraction in classes. Almost a hindrance. The thing is that I don't actually like typing on it or doing anything that I can do on computer at all. I don't like e-mailing on it, I don't like working on papers or poetry projects on it, I don't like reading for classes on it. I read an entire 280 something page book on this thing and the only good thing I have to say is that the font is bigger so it feels like I'm getting more done than reading in a book with smaller font and less pages. I'm even typing this on my laptop.

I feel like an iPad failure. I feel like I should be appreciating this technology more. It is, really and truly, a fascinating new addition to my technological life. It is relatively easy for me, as an almost complete Luddite, to negotiate. I don't despise it as a device, I actually really enjoy it. I like the games and I like the apps that I can find that are centered around my interests. But I don't see why it is worth more than a computer. I don't see why I should value this thing so much more than the laptop I am typing on. I feel like there is some element I'm missing, some sort of secret usefulness of goodness of the iPad that I'm missing.

I appreciate the fact that I can download lots of classics and other books for free on this thing. I appreciate the vast amount of almost interactive recipe books I can access on here. I appreciate the games that are not only fun but intellectually challenging. But I don't see what this is doing for me that computers already aren't. I guess I'm not a complete Luddite. Or maybe not even one at all. While I love the book and everything it has been for me throughout my life, I love my laptop too. I don't feel like I'm betraying the book with my laptop for some reason. I don't feel like I'm trying to replace it. With the iPad, I feel like I'm trying to not only replace my laptop but my books. I feel like a traitor to my books and my laptop.

Yet at the same time, I feel like a traitor to my iPad. I mean, it's not the Ipad's fault it is an attempt to combine the book and the laptop all into one compact device. And it's definitely not its fault that I don't like it as well as the originals. The iPad is an incredible new device, and I feel like it deserves more attention that I want to give it. I haven't fully integrated it into my life. I don't know how to. I'm already satisfied with my technological and book life. I don't need it all compressed into one. So what is the iPad doing? Why do we feel like we need devices like this? What are we looking for exactly? I don't have the answers. I don't quite think anyone else does either. I think it's just that we can make these devices, and we can be fascinated by them. But do we really believe in them? Do we really trust them the way we've trusted books and computers through the years?